This year has been difficult for me with medical issues. Chest pains were thought by my doctor to be asthma. A really bad reaction to an antibiotic was a surprise and a real pain to endure.
But now, an adventure begins that I’m not quite ready for. I just hope it is a short one with a good ending.
I went into a pulmonary specialist because this so-called asthma has been worrisome to me. It was presenting itself in the form of chest pains and rarely did I have any shortness of breath whatsoever. While there, he listened to my lungs, had me run up and down some stairs several times, listened again, took my pulse. He said the lungs seem fine, but he noticed a large lump on my neck. He thought it most likely had something to do with my thyroid.
The next day I called my general practitioner first thing and got an early appointment squeezed in. She order a blood test and an ultrasound.
Today I have the results and a phone number for a surgeon I should make an appointment with for a needle biopsy. Because something looks suspicious.
I suppose one should never read their own test results, but the thing that makes me the most nervous is that I have one large nodule that has blood flow. Seems like there are several other small nodules as well.
A lot of things have seemed off with my body. Many are “measurable” like racing heart, chest pains, tremors, excessive nervousness, excessive sweating, hoarseness of voice, difficulty swallowing etc. But for the last few days, more than that my body feels off in ways I can’t totally describe with words. Maybe that I’m being eaten alive in my entire chest cavity? Something just doesn’t seem right.
For now, I will take it one step at a time and follow the plan. Take it as it comes. But I can’t deny it has been hard, and despite the statistics that most of these types of things are benign, and even those that are cancerous are mostly quite curable… I can’t help but think of the worst. And how I’m not ready for the worst. And wondering if we should always be ready for the worst.
Now back to the regular scheduled program. While I take some meds to lessen the tremors and nervousness and wait for what’s next.